The type of girls guys most prey upon is no secret. Guys hunt the hotties of the world, the 10s, the hard-bodies. Why the trophy dates for guys? Why not? Why would a guy settle for anything less than the captain of the cheerleaders? Lots of guys don’t need to settle. But yet they often do. You often see great-looking guys with girls who couldn’t even make the cover of The Enquirer. Why? Why do guys even consider going out with all the different types of girls who don’t fit the hottie mold? Why do you sometimes see a decent looking guy, or even a dreamboat, arm in arm with a fatty, or an ugly, or an oldie? Are you sure you want to know why?

If you’re a nerd and you’re dating Joe Loser–simple, he couldn’t score anyone else, so he settled for you. Don’t be so offended. The fact that he’s sub-par suggests that you settled as well.

On the other hand, if you’re a nerd and you’re dating Joe Average or Joe Stud, don’t pat yourself on the back thinking how intelligent you are, how you lure guys with your captivating frontal lobes. Ask yourself, “Am I such a genius, that guys who are out of my league will see me as serious girlfriend material, despite my coke-bottle glasses and pigtails? Is my brilliance that alluring? Is my brain more appealing than a sweet rack?” It’s not. You’re being used. Sorry, but guys do use nerds.

Guys use nerds for a couple of reasons. Average Joes and Joe Studs occasionally use nerds because you’re usually sexually inexperienced. Guys love you sexually inexperienced girls for one simple, notorious reason: they love being the first–the first to kiss you, the first to suck your boobies, the first to finger you, the first to bed you, the first to butt bang you, the first to whip you, the first to videotape you, and so on. Unfortunately for guys, hot girls don’t offer many “first time” opportunities. Hotties date early and bang early. A lot of you nerdy gals, on the other hand, spend far too much time studying to experience firsts. You young nerds get hit on too rarely; so you’re sexually inexperienced. A lot of you older nerds haven’t had enough boyfriends to introduce you to the kinkier side of sex. Most guys look at you and see ugly nerds who aren’t worth their time. But scads of fellas look at you and see sexually inexperienced pity cases. They see untouched meat, and so they dedicate themselves to trying to nail you. Once their deed is done, they can scamper off to the next victim.

Most guys who use nerds only do it for the short term. These guys use nerds for a night or two then be on their way. But an occasional Joe Average or Joe Stud will stick with you for a while even if you’re a nerd. He might even ask you to be his girlfriend. There are a number of reasons why he may linger, at least temporarily. Maybe you’re a wildcat in the sack. Perhaps you have a knack for helping out with the bills. Regardless of the reason, unless you soon transform into a pre-midnight Cinderella, your guy will not stay for the long haul.

If you’re a super fatty and you’re dating Joe Loser, simple—he couldn’t score anyone else, so he settled for you.

On the other hand, if you’re a super fatty and you’re dating a lean Joe Average or Joe Stud, don’t pat yourself on the back thinking how much your winning personality outweighs your bulk. Ask yourself, “Am I so much the life of the party, that guys who are out of my league see me as serious girlfriend material, despite my thunder thighs and cottage cheese ass? Am I that alluring?” You’re not. You’re being used. Your dates are after one thing. Yeah, that thing. Sorry, but guys do use fat girls.

Most guys don’t have you fatties etched on their “things to do” list for one reason: their buds. A guy’s buddies may bite their lips if he’s banging a geek. They might hush up if he’s hooking up with a goth gal, or even an ugly gal. But they’ll never let him live down his fling with a plumper. With that in mind, guys usually maintain a safe distance from you heavyweights. Yet every now and then, a Joe Average or even a Joe Stud will pair up with a super fatty. Why?

Well, there are a few reasons and none of them are pretty. Some guys use fat girls because they lost a bet. Some guys use fat girls because they’ve endured an unlucky drought and need their balls drained at any cost. Some guys use fat girls when they’re drunk. Fatties lose a good 20 pounds once the beer goggles are in place. Some guys use fat girls because they want to live a life of no regrets. Once old, they want to look back at life with satisfaction, knowing that they left no stone unturned, no girl untouched. They may even consider themselves noble for having shared their pecker with a lady who may have otherwise been stuck in Virgin Land. Guys are real gems aren’t they?

If you’re an ugly girl and you’re dating Joe Loser, simple—he couldn’t score anyone else, so he settled for you.

On the other hand, if you’re an ugly girl and you’re dating Joe Average or Joe Stud, don’t pat yourself on the back thinking how sweet you are, how your generous spirit compensates for your facial miscues. Ask yourself, “Am I so warmhearted that guys who are out of my league see me as serious girlfriend material despite my flamingo nose and British teeth? Am I that delightful?” No. You’re not. You’re being used. Guys use ugly girls.

As the case with nerds, many guys use ugly girls because they’re often so desperate. They use ugly girls because they’re in need of a good lay. Or any lay. You ugly girls probably haven’t screwed a guy in months, maybe years, maybe even never. You suffer from low self-esteem, from loneliness. You spend your Saturday nights at home while your pretty friends are out with their guys. Since you rarely find dates, you’ll do whatever it takes to maintain the interest of those guys who do date you. If that means exploiting your sexuality, so be it. Studs and non-studs, alike, know that all they have to do is throw you a bone and you’ll come running, lubricated and ready for action. They know that the best BJs of their lives will probably come from when they use ugly girls. They know that they can request any kinky sex act from you and you’ll enthusiastically comply. Swallowing, ass licking, whips and chains, golden showers, facials–you’ll do it all. They know that they can bang you whenever and wherever they want. Guys know that they can use you, abuse you, oppress you, cheat on you, dominate you, neglect you, and you’ll still be there. As far as they’re concerned, you have no choice. Who else will take you?

If you’re a high schooler and you’re dating a Joe Loser who’s five or more years older than you, simple–he couldn’t score anyone else, so he settled for you.

On the other hand, if you’re a high schooler and you’re dating a Joe Average or Joe Stud who’s five or more years older than you, don’t pat yourself on the back thinking how mature you are, how you’ve always gotten along better with older crowds. Ask yourself, “Am I so wise beyond my years, that older guys see me as serious girlfriend material despite my age? Am I really that mature?” No. You’re not. You’re being used. Girls, etch this into your brains–Guys use young girls. Once again–Guys use young girls.

Older guys don’t take you youngsters seriously. All you are is tits and ass for them. Older guys don’t chase you despite your inexperience; they chase you because of it. You young ‘uns are curious. You’ve been hearing about sex for years. You’re just itching for it. To top it off, you’re gullible, persuadable. You don’t even realize just how often guys use young girls. All those cheesy lines—“You can’t get pregnant the first time.” “It’ll bring us closer.” “Blue balls will kill me.”–they actually work on you. Face it, you’re sure things. That’s why guys use young girls–because they’re sure things. Think about it. Why would any well-adjusted older guy take you younger girls seriously? You come packaged with a truckload of nuisances. Guys can’t take you to 21-or-over clubs. No bars for you. Trips to Vegas–not gonna happen.

Then there’s that pesky curfew thing. Older guys don’t want their Saturday nights to end at eleven. Curfew means no sleepovers. No sleepovers means no morning blowjobs. And let’s not forget the embarrassment factor. No guy wants to tell his drinking buddies, “Gotta go fellas. I’m off to pick up my bitch from high school.” They’re not eager to tell their co-workers that their girl just aced her SATs. And they definitely don’t look forward to telling their bros that their girl can’t make it “cuz her mommy said ‘no.’”

High schoolers of the world, do you really think that twenty-one year olds, let alone thirty-one year olds, tolerate your crap because they love you? Get real. Practice spreading your legs, girls, because that’s all you’ll be doing, right up until your older guys dump you and move on to the next cradle.

If you’re an older woman and you’re dating a young Joe Loser, simple–he couldn’t score anyone else, so he settled for you.

On the other hand, if you’re an older woman, and you’re dating a young Joe Average or Joe Stud, don’t pat yourself on the back thinking how young you look for your age. You think that Swedish anti-wrinkle cream actually works, don’t you? Ask yourself, “Am I so young at heart that younger guys see me as serious girlfriend material despite my saggy tits and paunch belly? Am I that zesty?” No. You’re not. You’re being used. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Guys use older women all the time.

Guys, especially young ones, are always on the look out for new meat to add to their “things to do” list. Oldies make for nice additions to these lists. Older women do come with lots of benefits. Guys use older women because they’re at their sexual peak (they want it all the time). Guys use older women because they’re uninhibited (they swallow). Guys use older women because they age like fine wine (years of practice have honed their banging skills). They use older women because they’re independent (they aren’t clingy). And guys use older women because they’re responsible (they take the pill. No condoms, baby!). With all of these benefits, can you really blame guys for wanting to give oldies a test drive?

If you’re a stripper and you’re dating Joe Loser, simple–he couldn’t score anyone else, so he settled for you.

On the other hand, if you’re a stripper and you’re dating Joe Average or Joe Stud, don’t go patting yourself on the back thinking how your strong will and independent mind nullify your night job. Ask yourself, “Am I so liberated that guys see me as serious girlfriend material, despite my skanky night job? Am I that captivating?” No. You’re not. You’re being used. Face it, guys use strippers.

Guys use strippers because, aside from prostitutes, they’re the easiest lays on earth. Come on now. Strippers gyrate for a living…naked…in front of strangers. They’re easy. At least that’s what most guys believe. Guys use strippers because they don’t have to go that extra mile. Screw courtship. Screw gallantry. Screw opera tickets and candlelit dinners. Guys can take strippers out for a Happy Meal on their first date and still look forward to a Mc69 later on. Throw in a sundae, and they figure their “dancer” just might bring her co-worker Chantelle into the mix.

Strippers of the world, here’s some advice. Any guy who dates you is not worth keeping, simply because he will not keep you, at least not for long. Guys use strippers and you know it. When looking for a serious relationship, a guy doesn’t seek out girls whose coochies are etched in the minds of thousands of horny dudes. No well-adjusted guy wants to introduce his girlfriend to his brother and have to worry, “Has he tipped her before?” Strippers of the world, and you prostitutes too, here’s a rule to live by. GUYS USE STRIPPERS. If you have a boyfriend who’s okay with what you do, he’s either a social misfit or he’s using you for sex. Disregard these words at your own peril.

Hey, you hotties of the world, you didn’t really think Garvey would pass up your smug asses, did you?  You may think that your crap doesn’t stink, but guys use hot girls all the time. Which guys?  That depends.

If you’re a hot girl and you’re dating Joe Loser, you own him. Joe Loser doesn’t use hot girls. Joe Loser knows that landing a hot girl may very well be a once-in-a-lifetime event. You’re his jackpot, his four-leaf clover. As for him, he’s your bitch. Feel free to ignore his breakup threats. Brush off his ultimatums. They’re bluffs. He can’t afford to lose you. Use and abuse him all you want. He’s going nowhere.

If you’re a hot girl and you’re dating Joe Average, he may or may not be using you. Many average Joes will stick with you for the long haul because, like uglies, they know they’re lucky to have you. But loads of Average Joes do use hot girls. They figure that if they can score a hot girl once, they can do it again. These fellas will stick around for a while, at least until another hottie falls into their web.

If you’re a hot girl and you’re dating Joe Stud, he’s probably using you. Granted, studs don’t use hot girls nearly as often as they use uglies and fatties and nerds, but they still use hot girls often. They use different tactics though. Whereas studs use uglies and fatties and the like for one-night stands or occasional booty calls, they usually use hot girls for “monogamous” relationships. And why not use hot girls for relationships? You hot girls make great trophies, so guys form relationships with you and show you off to the world. They’ll stick with you for months, sometimes years. But during that entire time, they know that they’ll eventually dump you. Why?  Because they’re studs. It’s what they do. They use hot girls because they can. Like all guys, they have a compulsion to sow their wild oats. But unlike most guys, they have the looks to follow through.