Unfortunately, guys just can’t feed their eyes with as much nudity as they’d like. They simply can’t afford to go to strip clubs every night, and no guy is lucky enough to receive weekly bachelor party invites. Pornos get old after awhile. And you girlfriends and wives suffer from too many headaches. Like it or not, guys usually don’t find themselves in places where girls, 24/7, lie on the floor with their feet behind their heads. So guys must seek out potential nudity anywhere they can get it. Where do they look? Everywhere. The world is full of potential nudity.

Guys do their best to keep their eyes peeled at all times. They know that all it takes for a satisfactory skin exposure to occur is for a skirt-wearing gal to drop something and then bend over to pick it up. Guys love to look up girls’ skirts. Any time a girl wearing a skirt bends over, every guy within a fifty-yard radius will be looking up her skirt, hoping beyond hope that her bend over will pay off, that her skirt will lift high enough to expose a bare ass. And if a bare ass is too much to ask for during a bend over, they hope that she’ll be wearing a thong, or at the very least, that her panties have bunched up between her cheeks, creating a poor man’s thong.

Similarly, when a girl wearing pants crouches down, every guy in the vicinity will look her way, not only so they can check out that crouched ass, but in the hopes of seeing a little butt-crack. The funny thing is that guys don’t even find butt-crack that appealing. Still, they hope for a glimpse. It’s in their genes, damn it. They have to see butt-crack. And you know what, it isn’t that hard to find butt-crack nowadays with all of you ladies investing in those low-waist jeans.

But guys aren’t always behind you when you happen to bend over or crouch down. Sometimes they’re in front of you. No problem. That’s what breasts are for. If guys are before you when you bend over or crouch, their eyes instantly gaze at your chest. Maybe, just maybe, your blouse has drooped down low enough for a cleavage peek, or better yet, a nipple slip. For a guy, seeing a nipple slip is enough to make his weekend. He’ll conjure up memories of that nipple slip for years to come. A cleavage peek, a nipple slip, a little butt-crack, a bare ass–these are the things guys live for.

Is an explanation really necessary? Guys don’t only attend mardi gras and spring break events because they’re looking to get drunk and party. They want to get laid too. Most won’t though. No worries. They’ll likely receive a consolation prize. They get to watch girls get drunk, and drunken girls packed together can only mean one thing. Flash fest! That’s right, guys can kick back and watch as dozens of girls flash their breasts. So many girls do their best to turn into hoochies at mardi gras and spring break events. They’ll flash their breasts for worthless beads. They’ll flash their breasts for applause. Heck, they’ll flash their breasts just because the girls next to them decide to flash their breasts. And it’s not only their titties that come out and play. Their asses often join in on the fun, and some of the bolder types flash their coochies too. Mardi gras and spring break events are like amateur strip clubs. Guys can visually enjoy a variety of tits and asses, but for free. No cover charge. No need to tip. Just a bunch of ladies bringing joy to the world.

Whether it is a beach or a lake or a pool, any place that requires a swimsuit is a visual Vegas for guys because it gives them the best of odds of catching exposed tits and ass. Even if they see no exposed tits and ass, at least they get to see plenty of skin. But let’s get back to that exposed tits and ass. Be careful when you dive, ladies. Whenever you bikini-clad ladies dive into water, guys lip their chops when you emerge because they know that nothing removes a bikini top faster than a good dive. Even if your tops do stay on, you’re still soaking wet, which means guys are on the lookout for two things. If you’re wearing light colored suits (especially white ones) guys check out your chests, hoping that your suits have become sheer and are exposing your areolas. No sheerness?  No problem. Guys still have a good chance of catching sight of your nipple bumps. Cold water plus wet fabric almost always equals nipple bumps and guys love seeing nipple bumps. In fact, nipple bumps will usually give guys a big bump of their own.

But guys being the equal opportunity employers that they are, they just don’t focus on your swimsuit tops. Your bottoms also do their share of exposing. Every guy knows that girls aren’t always thorough with their bikini area grooming. Seeing a few stray pubic hairs is enough to titillate even the most conservative of guys. Also, once your bottoms are wet, they have a great habit of sneaking up your asses. You ladies know this; after all, you’re constantly adjusting your bottoms. Well, guys know it too and are ever vigilant for butt-cheek exposures. Guys are particularly hopeful of those rare instances when your bottoms almost completely sneak up your asses, creating makeshift thongs. Speaking of thongs, they’re just one more reason why guys have a field day at the beach.

And then there’s the camel toe. Ah, the camel toe. For those of you ladies who don’t know what a camel toe refers to, listen closely. When your coochie is unspread, it resembles a camel’s toe. Once your bathing suit gets wet, the fabric sticks to your skin, so not only does your suit expose nipple bumps, but the outline of your camel toe is occasionally visible too. Whenever you’re lying out in the sun in a swimsuit and guys pass you, guys look at every part of you. If your legs happen to be a little spread, you can bet their trying to get a glimpse of your camel toe.

Guys love catfights. It’s not because they want to see bloody lips and knock out blows (although those are cool too), and not because they want to see scratching and biting and screaming. Guys love catfights because they hope to see tits and ass. Guys love catfights because you ladies have a flair for tearing off clothes during catfights. You have a flair for getting in catfights when you just happen to be wearing skirts. Ripped clothes, skirts, rolling around on the floor—it’s the magic formula for tits and ass exposure. Granted, when there is exposure, it’s probably quick and subtle, maybe a nipple sighting, maybe an ass cheek peek-a-boo. But those little exposures do go a long way in a guy’s pants.

Who could’ve imagined that busses and subways offer anything more than boredom and the stink of sweat?  Although not the best place for tits and ass exposures, buses and subways do present their share of opportunities, particularly when they’re jam-packed. Girls, when you’re in buses and subways, there are always passengers who are standing, holding the rail, right?  Do you know what that means?  It means that if you’re sitting down, guys aren’t just near you, they’re above you. It means that if you’re wearing a loose blouse, they can peek down that blouse and admire your tits. It means that if you’re not wearing a bra, they know it. It means that if you’re slumped over in just the right angle, they’ve got a puncher’s chance of seeing one of your nipples or maybe even both nipples. And you thought guys gave up their seats out of courtesy.