After years of mentally banging their teachers, their friends, Hollywood starlets and even their own wives, guys’ fantasy lives can lose their luster. Guys’ minds need more than just variety. Their minds are sick. Guys are pervs. Their minds need to explore every nasty scenario, every twisted avenue. No female can flee from guys’ fantasy lives. Guys even dabble with those gals you’d never expect to find in a male fantasy.

If you’re a senior citizen, guys fantasize about you. That’s right, some guys fantasize about old people. Now ladies, before your minds dip into a quagmire of dentures and Depends XXX images, let’s get something straight. Eighty and ninety year olds reside in resting homes, not in the fantasies of guys. Fifty and sixty year olds, on the other hand, are fair game. Why do guys have senior citizen fantasies?  Because guys’ minds are sick. That same pecker hormone that tempts guys to frequent red light districts is the same chemical that drives them to erect red light districts in their heads. There’s another reason why some guys fantasize about old people though. They place guys in scenarios where they can play the role of super stud. Most old people haven’t had young prick in decades. They’re just aching for a good Viagra-free banging. So fantasizing about senior citizens enables guys to ravish women who are in awe of them, who view them as super studs, who, frustrated by decades of limp, grandpa dick, cum at the very sight of a young and robust stiffie. Could there be a bigger ego boost?

There’s one more reason why some guys fantasize about senior citizens. From childhood, society teaches guys to respect their elders, to not curse in their presence, to treat them gently, tenderly. After years of following these admonitions, the thought of tearing up some granny’s coochie, calling her an old slut, and spewing on her face allows a guy to flip off society and all of its rules.

If you’re a super plumper, guys fantasize about you. Guys mainly fantasize about fat girls because of their leave-no-stone-unturned mentality. There are only so many Barbie-type bodys that guys can conjure up. Sooner or later, guys do need to branch out and explore “less perfect” body types. Also, guys fantasize about fat girls because, for at least once in their lives, they’d like to grab hold of a super-sized ass and grope a set of watermelon tits. For at least once in their lives, they desire to experience a whole lot of loving, to lose themselves amid mountains of soft skin. Guys also fantasize about big girls because it’s a means of enjoying flesh that guys are supposed to shun. Society commands guys to adore tiny waists and tight asses. But guys love to rebel. Fantasizing about fat girls is essentially a “fuck you” to the beauty norms of our society.

If you’re a goth or punk, guys do fantasize about you. Guys fantasize about goths and punks because they perceive goths and punks as wild stallions, as rebellious lions. Taming these wild beasts, even if only in their minds, appeals to guys’ need for dominance. Moreover, guys fantasize about goths and punks because the thought of banging rebellious types appeals to the kinkier side of guys. In guyspeak, “rebellious” means kinky. “Rebellious” means swallowing, not spitting. “Rebellious” means role-playing, not foreplaying. “Rebellious” means group sex, not safe sex. “Rebellious” means that goths and punks make for wild, hot and heavy fantasy co-stars.

If you’re a midget, guys do fantasize about you. Garvey doesn’t lie. There are some guys who fantasize about midgets. Fantasies are like drugs. After awhile, traditional fantasies lose their effect, as guys’ tolerance levels increase. Guys have no choice but to turn to the harder stuff. They have to get creative in order to secure a good fix. Midget fantasies are to fantasies what crack is to drugs. Thoughts of little coochie tend to pop up once guys have exhausted their mental supplies of co-worker coochies, sister-in-law coochies, and all of the other more traditional coochies that prance around their minds.

Here’s another reason for midget fantasies. Guys’ penises, for the most part, fall around the six-inch mark, enough to satisfy, but not quite enough to dazzle. Midget fantasies enable guys to explore a secret wish: What it’s like to intimidate a woman with a donkey dick. As far as guys are concerned, midget ladies have only experienced wee, little, midget dick. Surely big guys’ half-footers will draw a gasp from even the most hardened lady midget. Well, at least that’s how it works in guys’ twisted minds.

If you’re a lady wearing a strap-on, guys fantasize about you. Very few guys would ever consent to being banged by a lady wearing a strap-on dildo, but most guys do allow their fantasy lives to explore the scenario at least once. Guys are used to being the dominant partner in bed. Since birth, they’ve been molded to be dicks, not pussys, nails, not holes, pitchers, not catchers. So it’s only natural that guys will at times wonder how it feels to be dominated, how it feels to make themselves completely vulnerable to another. So it’s only natural that once in a blue moon, they’ll fantasize about how it feels to be penetrated by a girl wearing a strap-on.

If you’re uh, well, uh…if you’re uh…if you’re a dude, guys fantasize about you. Yes, guys do fantasize about other guys. They don’t do it often. In fact, they rarely pay visits to Cocksville. Nevertheless, it happens. All guys, at least once in their lives, and usually a few times more, have pondered taking a baloney poney into their willing mouths. Now, when guys fantasize about guys, it doesn’t necessarily indicate homosexuality. Guys have perverse minds.  Their brains are never sexually satisfied and must constantly seek out new types of meat, even if it’s an Oscar Meyer wiener. After fantasizing about all those midgets, and seniors, and Goths, and fatties, where else can guys’ minds roam?  What fantasyland can they explore?  That’s right, Dicksville.

But there’s another reason why guys occasionally fantasize about guys. Unlike girls, guys aren’t ashamed of their crotches. Girls rarely catch a glimpse of their coochies, so it’s understandable that they aren’t so comfortable with them. But guys know their wieners. They are best buddies with their wieners. From the time they’re potty trained, guys handle their wee-wees at least twice a day. Once puberty arrives, that number may double. With all that contact, it’s inevitable that guys come to admire their Willies. This admiration of cock makes it easier for guys to appreciate other cocks. It makes it easier for guys to now and then stroke other meat, suck other meat, and get banged by other meat, but only in their fantasies, of course.

You’ve finished. The crowd goes wild. Guys holler approval. Girls scream. Shouts for an encore. No, you haven’t played a concerto. Nor did you polish off a stand-up act. You just banged your guy with dozens of strangers watching. Not a familiar scenario?  It is for some guys, at least in their minds. Guys fantasize about being watched during sex because it’s something that’s just too intimidating to do in real ife. No guy wants spectators around while he makes goofy faces while cumming. A guy doesn’t want someone sitting around smirking at his hairy ass, judging his performance, laughing when he comes too fast. And what does he do if he can’t even get it up? Only exhibitionists and guys with donkey dicks are cool with being watched. For most guys, their minds are the only places where they can experience being watched with no fear of embarrassment. Only in their minds can they ensure that their studliness is apparent. When they fantasize about being watched, they can control the reactions of the watchers. When they fantasize about being watched, they can gift themselves with sausages, not noodles. They can thrust for hours and look cool while doing so.

Guys have to occasionally fantasize about orgies. Dozens of sweaty, naked girls sucking and screwing, moaning and groaning. Boobies bouncing, asses grinding, coochies spreading. To fantasize about being in orgies is just plain right. Orgies are taboo, they’re nasty, they’re visually overwhelming. They’re a fantasy must, for guys at least. When guys do fantasize about orgies, they usually prefer their orgies to include girls whom they know. Familiarity adds spice to their scenarios. And adding sisters to the mix is a necessity. A couple of cougars…oh, yeah. Some guys will even fantasize about orgies that allow a couple fatties or a few butterfaces. Guys are generous in that way.

Guys fantasize about watching their girls having sex with another guy. It’s not a fantasy favorite simply because guys are too jealous to ponder the possibility more than occasionally. But they do ponder the  thought at times. So why would guys with all of that jealousy of theirs dare to fantasize about sharing their girls with another?  First, they fantasize about their girls having sex with another guy because it’s just a mere fantasy. It’s just a scenario, a fabrication, a harmless collections of XXX thoughts that have no bearing on real world relationships. Guys can fantasize about sharing their girls all they want and be content knowing that in the real world, the world that matters, their girls are still wholesome, one-man girls. In the real world, their girls are still their property, or so they think. So, they fantasize about sharing their girls because it’s safe. It allows them to get off, break taboos, and yet they can always wake up.

Guys also fantasize about watching their girls having sex with another guy because they’re visually curious. Other than through video, a guy is never able to view his girl’s body during sex from a wide-angle perspective. Even if he’s Long-Dong Silver, sex is still a close-up sport, so he can only focus on certain areas of her body at any given time. By fantasizing about his girl having sex with another guy, he gets to watch her sexed-up body in all its splendor. He can better appreciate all the feminine curves and gyrations and ripples that often go unnoticed. He can view her coochie from every position, from every angle. He can catch every facial expression she makes during the throes of ecstasy.