Guys don’t have to cum on your face or doggybang you in order to dominate you. They’re quite capable of claiming you as their property using far subtler methods, in places other than the bedroom. Ladies, don’t be fooled when guys give gifts. Their intentions aren’t always pure. When guys give gifts, there’s usually a price to pay. And beware of how often guys play games. Guys play games with your hearts all the time. That’s what they do. GUYS PLAY GAMES. They’re puppet masters and they know all the right strings to pull in order to get their way.

Don’t you just love receiving flowers at work from your guy? As you set the flowers on your desk and take in their alluring scent, you’re probably thinking, “What a sweetheart my guy is. He’s so romantic. I must be the luckiest girl in the world.” Wrong. Wrong. And wrong again. Sure, there are plenty of Romeos out there with good intentions, so you might very well be a lucky girl. But most guys are dicks, so there’s a chance your getting flowers at work isn’t such a sweet gesture at all. Beware of receiving flowers at work.

More likely, you received flowers at work because your guy was marking his territory. You may not realize it, but those aren’t a dozen roses you see sitting on your desk. Those are 12 stop signs, all with one message: “Scram. She’s taken.” Not convinced? Think about what develops when you receive flowers at work. They attract attention to themselves. Your co-workers ask you who sent them. They ooh and ahh and remark how gorgeous they are and how lucky you are. By sending you those flowers at work, your guy has manipulated a mini-circus. He knows it and relishes in it because that circus warns all guys that you belong to somebody. For as long as those flowers thrive, they do act as daily reminders to other peckers that your coochie is off-limits. By sending you flowers at work, your guy has fitted you with a week-long floral chastity belt. And it only cost him $50.

It’s your birthday. Your guy watches proudly as you unwrap his gift–a herringbone necklace with a heart pendant! Hold on. Don’t jump up for joy just yet. Perhaps you should ask yourself, “Is this a necklace? Or is it a dog leash?” Some guys present you ladies with a bracelet or necklace so they can mark their territory. Dogs do it all the time. They mark their territory by pissing all over the place. So think of your new necklace as a wreath of piss. Nice image, huh?

As far as guys are concerned, the showier the jewelry, the better its ability to mark their territory. Quarter-sized heart pendants shout out, “Beat it! My heart belongs to another!” Those corny bracelets formed of tiny hearts boast, “Back off! My boyfriend loves me!” And then there are lockets. What better way for guys to mark their territory than to have you wear a picture of them around your neck? And you thought guys were dumb.

You’ve heard them before: “Drop that friend, or I’m dropping you.” “Stop clubbing with your friends, or we’re through.” “Quit your night classes and spend more time with me, or I’m out of here.” And so on. Everyone makes break-up ultimatums at some point in a relationship. But most of guys’ break-up ultimatums aren’t even legitimate. They’re bluffs. They’re exercises in power. Guys may holler, hang up on you, slam doors, and go through all the motions, but they’re still often bluffing. If you ignore their break-up ultimatums, they may even follow through with all of the customary theatrics—offering to return past gifts, requesting that you not call or write, etc… You know what? In three weeks or less, they’ll be crawling back to you, unless you’re suckers and you fall for their bluffs. And you probably will fall for their bluffs. That’s why guys spew break-up ultimatums in the first place. They know that if they want you to stop clubbing with your girlfriends, or if they want you to quit your night classes and spend more time with them, they just need to launch four words your way—”I’m out of here.”

It gets worse. Some guys spit out break-up ultimatums simply to test their power over you. They use break-up ultimatums as a game. For these class acts, you’re not just puppets. You’re guinea pigs. These brutes don’t even care if you go clubbing. They’ll order you to quit just to exercise their dominance, just to get a feel for how much they can toy with you in the future.

Ladies, not all ultimatums are bluffs. Once again. Not all ultimatums are bluffs. So don’t go and throw away a good relationship by ignoring all ultimatums thrown your way. Some ultimatums demand legitimate sacrifices that are necessary for your relationships to thrive. When ultimatums head your way, be cautious. Ask yourself if your guy’s being petty and selfish, or if he has a legitimate gripe. It’s possible you’re engaging in behavior that you should alter or stop altogether. If your guy’s threatening to leave unless you quit flirting with strange guys, well you know what? Maybe he’s got a point. If the ultimatums involve behaviors that you can drop with little effort and anxiety, than drop the behaviors. Why endanger your relationship over something petty. Don’t be afraid to surrender to ultimatums every now and then. Don’t be lazy. Swallow your pride and change your ways.

If however, your guy demands that you quit a habit or activity that is important to you, call his bluff. Don’t let him stamp out areas of your life that are integral to your happiness and growth. If your guy expects you to sacrifice what’s important to you, if he can’t even meet you halfway, he’s probably not your dream guy to begin with. Let him go. You’re better off without him.

Jan wants out of her relationship with Cliff. She begins hinting that Cliff’s going to get dumped soon. Then, unexpectedly, Cliff beats her to the punch and dumps her. Suddenly, Jan’s feelings for Cliff flip-flop. She wants him back. Overnight, he becomes the prince that got away. How could she ever have let that dream guy out of her life?  She visits Cliff and begs him to bring his magic back into her life. Score – Cliff 1. Jan 0. Kudos to Clifford. He has just pulled off a fake break-up.

Like Cliff, plenty of fellas are crafty enough to pull off a fake break-up. When they sense they’re on thin ice, they know that breaking up will unleash a whirlwind of emotions within you Ladies. No one likes getting dumped. Everyone wants to feel desired, to feel needed, to feel loved. Getting dumped means that you are none of these. Let’s get real. “It’s not you. It’s me” is always a lie. If a person breaks up with you, it’s because of you. It’s because they believe that you’re not worthy of them. Getting dumped means that you’re not special enough to warrant their commitment. Getting dumped is simply a way of saying, “You’re not good enough.”  It’s no surprise then how getting dumped can reinvigorate a girl’s desire to prolong the relationship even if she was previously unhappy. Getting dumped jumpstarts a pesky voice in girls’ heads that says, “How dare he dump me!  I’m worthy of him and I’m going to prove it by winning him back.” See what fake break-ups can do, Ladies. One minute a guy is history; the next minute he’s the love of your life.

If their expecting to get dumped soon, guys will also execute fake break-ups in order to preserve their fragile egos. Getting dumped is a sign of lost dominance. A dumpee no longer holds the puppet strings. By pulling off a fake break-up, a guy regains control of the strings. He elevates his position. Best-case scenario: His ex will seek to repair her shattered ego by winning him back. Worst-case scenario: His ex accepts his breakup and never looks back. But at least he acted as the rejector and not the rejectee.

When guys sense that you gals have one foot out the door, they will often set out to make you jealous. Ever notice how right before or after you dump a guy, he suddenly becomes Don Juan to the world?  He boasts about the hot co-worker who asked him out, or how a chesty classmate has been all over him. Don’t believe everything you hear. He’s probably just trying to make you jealous. Many guys, when realizing that they’re losing you, concoct stories about one or several hoochies on their trail. They hope that these tall tales will make you jealous enough that you’ll forget your growing discontent with your relationship. They hope that these fables will light a competitive fire within you that compels you to protect him from the clutches of evil hoochies.

The truth is, guys don’t even know if these lies work. They try to make you jealous for one simple reason: it’s a strategy that would work on them. Ladies, if you ever want to stop a guy from dumping you, or if you want him to pay more attention to you, or if you want more romance, just make him feel jealous. Tell him that one of your studly co-workers asked you out. Bingo. Since most of your husbands and boyfriends feel a sense of dominance over you, the appearance of any rival puts them on red alert. That rival is a threat to their property, namely, you. If a guy plans on dumping you on Tuesday, but learns of competition on Monday, you can expect him to stick with you for at least another month, just to ensure that he defeats his new rival and maintains dominance over you and your body. If your guy treats you more like his bitch than his princess, but discovers that a pretty boy is after your tail, you better believe your guy will spend the next weeks escorting you to five-star restaurants and shelling out big bucks for rose bouquets.

Making a guy feel jealous not only rattles boyfriends and husbands. It can work on love interests as well. For you ladies who have pined over a male buddy for months or even years without any results, making him feel jealous by making up some other guy is a great way to spark some interest in your bud. You see, if a buddy of yours knows you like him, you provide him with an ego boost, a daily ego boost, even if you do not interest him. You also provide him with a back-up parachute. If he can’t find anyone more bangworthy, he can always turn to you at a later date. He might not even see you as a back up. He might see you as a potential wife who will loyally wait for him while he sows his wild oats. But if he learns that you were out clubbing, meeting lots of horny guys, if he learns of co-workers looking in your direction, he may launch into pursuit of you in an effort to preserve his ego boost and regain full control of his back-up–you. Caution: If he saw you as a back-up to begin with, he probably won’t keep you for too long. He’ll just bang you and go through all the relationship motions until he finds someone he wants to bang more. If he originally saw you as a potential wife, he’ll probably stick around, but he may feel a little antsy because he has yet to sow those wild oats. Either way, you’re kind of screwed. Here’s some advice. Forget about making your male buds feel jealous. Get over them! Find somebody new. If your male crushes haven’t made their move in the first three months of knowing you, they’re not into you. Forget about them. They don’t want you, at least not for the long haul.