GARVEY’S GREETING

Welcome to BewareofMen.com, the home of Garvey. Garvey’s purpose is simple – to portray guys as the twisted, scheming, perverts that they are. There will be no fancy jargon here. No pie graphs or sociological theories. What you’ll get is just an average guy telling it how it is.
Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Sports Events

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

If you’re wondering where to find a guy, head to a sports event. No need to spend big bucks for a pro game. Head to a college football game. Or check out a co-ed softball game at the park. Guys love meeting girls with an interest in sports. Girls who show an interest in sports tend to be more horny and aggressive. That means they’re more likely to swallow. Oh, how guys love girls who swallow.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Special Olympics

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Stop being so damn selfish and go volunteer at the Special Olympics. You’ll do some good for a change and you just might meet a man. And not just any man. Chances are, you’ll be meeting a guy who volunteers to help handicapped kids. How many guys do this? You’re meeting a gem. These guys are marriage material. They don’t cheat. They watch wholesome porn instead of midget bondage. And they always make sure that you cum.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – School

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

One of the best places to meet men is in school. Take a night class at your local community college. Guys there are looking to get ahead and at least they can read. And if you’re an older gal, night classes are a great place to find some young weiner.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Workplace

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

One of the best places to meet guys is at work. Stop going out for lunch. Eat lunch in the office lunchroom or cafeteria. And don’t just sit there with a stick up your ass. Look around and smile. Before you know it, you’ll be banging Steve from accounting in the copy room.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Weddings

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Want to know where to meet guys? Go to weddings. Go to every wedding you get invited to even if you hate the couple getting married. Beware though. Although many of the guys at weddings are kosher, about half of them are there with one thought in their minds. Single girls at a wedding = drunk, amorous girls. Drunk, amorous girls = easy lays.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Softball Fields

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Want to know where to meet men? Join a co-ed softball team. Most of the guys on these teams are wusses (only girly men play softball) looking to score some ass. But there actually are some gems on these teams. And playing together will allow you to see if a guy is a sore loser or attention whore. Better to learn these things before you get too serious.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Zoo

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Get off your ass and volunteer at your local zoo. The zoo is a great place to meet quality men. Guys who volunteer at zoos love animals. Sure that makes them pussys but it also means they’re compassionate and good-natured. They’ll probably never cheat on you. Don’t expect great sex though.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Bookstores

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

One of the best places to meet guys is at a bookstore. Guys at bookstores probably aren’t addicted to video games. Guys at bookstores are smarter than average. They’re more likely to research things like “how to please a girl” and “how can I be more romantic” Beware of meeting guys in the photography section though. Those pervs are just there to check out the nudes.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Singles Dances

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Singles dances are a great place to meet guys because you know for sure that every guy there is single. No worries about being a homewrecker. The good thing about singles dances is that guys who go to them are fun loving and they enjoy dancing. This is a plus since most guys hate dancing. The bad thing about singles dances is that some of the guys there are utterly desperate. A singles dance is often a last resort. You might get a gem but you might get a guy who smokes pot and plays World of Warcraft all day.

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Aug
02

Places to Meet Guys – Apartment Swimming Pool

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Your apartment pool is a cool place to meet guys. Go swimming more often. Sun bathe in a skimpy bikini. Expose a little camel toe. The great thing about meeting a guy at the pool is that 1. You’ll know how his body looks like. 2. If you look hard enough, you’ll know if he’s got a big weiner.

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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Carnivals

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Go to the carnival. Splurge on cotton candy and ice cream cones. Don’t be afraid to get a little frisky on the Ferris wheel. Fingerings and blow jobs are an important carnival tradition.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Circuses

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Head to the circus. No one appreciates the circus anymore. Dancing elephants, clown cars, trapeze artists wearing thongs–circuses are fantastic.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Concerts

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Concerts in the park are held in most big cities. Grab your date and go to one. Take a picnic basket full of goodies, lounge on a blanket, and listen to great music under the stars.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Whale Watching

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Whale watching isn’t always a fun date. In fact, it could be damn boring. But do you really want to live your whole life without seeing a whale up close?

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Car Dealers

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Want a fun date? Grow some balls and head over to a new car dealer and test drive new cars. Don’t be a pussy and settle for test driving a Camry or accord. Think big. Test drive a Corvette. It’s fast. It’s sexy. It’s American.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Comedy Clubs

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Comedy clubs are great places to go for a date. Dates should be fun. Comedy clubs are fun. Why bore your date with your stupid jokes when you can have a pro do all the heavy lifting. And if the comedian sucks, you can have a blast later making fun of his sorry ass.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Jet Skiing

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

A fun date idea is to go to a nearby lake and rent a jet ski. Not only will you have a blast but you’ll be able to get a better feel for how your date looks naked.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Massage Night

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Stop being a stingy bastard and pay for a masseuse to come over and give you and your date a massage. Your date will love you. Once the masseuse leave, your date will be super relaxed and ready to get it on. This date idea practically guarantees a night of bumping uglies.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Sunset Cruises

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Take a sunset cruise. What’s more romantic than watching a sunset at the ocean? Just be sure to buy some Dramamine if you’re prone to sea sickness. Barfing and kissing don’t mix. Oral sex is still game though.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Limo Ride

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Get a limo. Have the driver take you to dinner, then a bat or a club. Then just drive around. Shut that partition between the driver and you and go down on each other. Go ahead and bump uglies. Limos are built for banging. Take advantage.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Kayaking

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Want a fun date? Go kayaking. It’s fun and adventurous, and it’s good exercise too. So if your date is packing on the pounds, kayaking is a good way to turn that lard ass into a fine ass.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Date Ideas – Shopping Spree

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Take your date on a shopping spree. Your date will love you for it. Taking your date on a shopping spree will guarantee great things later at night. Swallowing, rim jobs, anal sex, golden showers – no matter how kinky it is, you’ll get it.

Categories : 15 Date Ideas
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Aug
02

Granny Shirts

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Nothing makes an impact more than grandma shirts. And this is the place to get one. Grandma shirts bring love to the world. The more you buy, the more love you bring.

Categories : Zany Ads
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Aug
02

Granny Coffee Mugs

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Grandma coffee mugs are a necessity for true coffee drinkers. Grandma coffee mugs literally make coffee taste better. They turn bad coffee into good coffee. Even better, they turn a bad life into a good one.

Categories : Zany Ads
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Aug
02

Granny Gifts

By Garvey · Aug,02 2010, Comments (0)

Grandma gifts can be purchased here. Can there be a better gift than a boxing grandma? Grandma gifts featuring a grandma boxer means happiness.

Categories : Zany Ads
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